Six and Out - Some Serious Cricket

Australia fall for cunning plan

by SixandOut on October 24th, 2006

If it helps you to do the Baldrick voice when reading the above title, then please, feel free. In fact, you can just imagine it now:

“What are we going to do about winning the Ashes?”
“I have a cunning plan, m’Lord”
“Oh, do you?”
“Yes, and it’s so cunning you could brush your teeth with it.”
“OK, let’s hear it.”
“Well, m’Lord. We all know that Australia are a better side than us. The only way we’re going to win the Ashes is by getting knocked out of the Champions Trophy, so that we have lots and lots of rest, whereas they continue to tire and hopefully injure themselves by playing in a competition that no-one cares about.”

Well if that was the plan, then Australia certainly fell for it.

In their 6 wicket drubbing, England did a sterling job of pretending to commit the usual hari-kari by throwing away a brilliant start and collapsing quicker than that house built on the sand by the not-so-wise-man. England’s bowling then did a stand up job of looking completely ineffectual, Steve Harmison leading from the front (as first change bowler). So dismal was the performance that the media barely even roused themselves to comment on it, let alone the England upper management regurgitating the usual “we know were rubbish, we will get better” spiel.

In fact, about the only major fallout from the defeat seems to be from outspoken ex-England great turned pundit turned controversial looney turned wife beater Geoff Boycott, whom, completely sucked in by the cunningness of the whole charade immediately called for Duncan Fletcher to get the sack. And whilst there might be some small amount of sense behind the suggestion, after all, England’s one-day record under Fletcher’s rule speaks for itself, to suggest ditching the head coach less than a month before the Ashes is a ludicrous outcry. To be honest, I expect to see Fletcher leave after the Ashes one way or another - he’ll either get given his marching orders if England fail to retain the Ashes, or should the reverse happen, then surely there could be no more triumphant an end to a career for him.

So congratulations to England on pulling off the stunt, it worked like a charm. Put your feet up, get some rest and prepare yourself for next month. Australia, best of luck to you for the rest of the Trophy, we all hope you get all the way through to the finals and play lots more cricket.

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