Melbourne : Day 3 : Get out the paint
I was in two minds as to whether to simply post a blank entry here, to try and symbolise being speechless about the latest debacle. Just when I thought it really couldn’t get much worse, it did, as England were beaten by an innings inside 3 days. Australia didn’t even post a gigantic total, 419, which in being-beaten-by-an-innings terms is pretty paltry, in fact maybe it’s a question for Bill ‘Bearded Wonder’ Frindall. I digress. To lose by an innings and 91 inside 3 days is nothing short of disgraceful and a new low in English cricket. But it can of course yet get lower, as a 5th consecutive loss next week in Sydney would herald the prize of a 5-0 drubbing, the “yellow-and-gold-wash”, if you will, the first since the 1920’s, which on the back of winning the Ashes last year would be the ultimate kick in the nuts for English cricket. Maybe another question for Bill.
I can remember all the excitement and anticipation in the literally months leading up to this series. There was so much expectation, so many questions, so much hype - Would the series live up to last year? Could England retain? - but as a huge cynic, in the back of my mind there was always that nagging doubt - But what if England do go down 5-0? I wasn’t the first person to suggest it, and whilst the threat was very real, I never really believed it would happen. I confidently predicted a 2-1 win for England, but that was more due to being an England supporter rather than actually thinking it would happen. Realistically, I was expecting losing 3-1. I thought we’d at least get one, and draw another. But the possibility of 5-0 seemed so far fetched that, whilst it worried me, I honestly thought it wouldn’t, nay couldn’t, happen.
Yet here I sit, some months later, 4 matches in to a series that has been, from an English perspective, the dampest of damp squibs imaginable (we’re not talking moist, here, it’s positively soaking wet) facing the very real possibility, and in all fairness, likelihood, of losing this thing 5-0. It’s a feeling I’m struggling to comprehend. It was always going to be tough, but surely it shouldn’t have gone down like this? How did it happen? I’ve already sketched out some reasons, but they still don’t ease the pain. For me it really boils down to 2 things: why was Freddie named captain and why was Giles playing in place of Monty*?
Ach. It’s sickening, and this time it has nothing to do with a gallon of Pinot Grigio. It could have been so different. But already people are looking towards 2009, where there is a “new hope” for England. Not because we will necessarily have improved as a team, but because the best team in the world in all likelihood won’t be as good as they are now. To have to rely on our opposition getting worse before we can beat them is pitiful, and I for one will never want to win a series that way. It was moreorless true of the last Ashes series through McGrath’s injuries - but injuries are part of the game - if we win in 2009, then it will be impossible to avoid the thoughts of it only being because McGrath and Warne were not playing.
Pah. It’s all getting too much. Someone needs to open a support group for sufferers of ESS** . We need to all hold hands and be with each other. It’s the only way we’ll get through this. Heck, we can even get the footie and rugby lads in there as well.
And we need to sort out our team. I like the idea of one guy off the TMS messageboards:
I’ve just ‘found’ another England cricket plan, lying waste in the back of the players lounge - it clearly states that using the flat sheet marked A and the enclosed tool marked D the two pieces of wood should be screwed together to form the side of drawer C. This then can be assembled to make the first of three modules into which the whole of the English cricket team and management can climb and hide after this appalling series.
Says it all really. Hopefully the plan starts with removing Fletcher, changing the selection procedure and giving all the players a bloody good spanking.
* Damn, I love being right. I predicted the problems way back then and I was right. This feeling serves only to quell the pain momentarily, though.
** ESS - England Supporter Syndrome
Tags: Australia, England, flintoff, its-just-not-cricket, lose, melbourne, rubbish, Stumps, Test Cricket, The-AshesRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Cricket
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